Category Archives: family

Hayes Carll, She Left Me For Jesus

I’m not a big fan of country music or novelty songs, but NPR had a piece on Hayes Carll earlier this month and his chorus to She Left Me for Jesus made me laugh out loud.

Give it a whirl:

Here’s that chorus again in case you missed it:

She left me for Jesus and that just ain’t fair
She says that he’s perfect, how could I compare
She says I should find him and I’ll know peace at last
If I ever find Jesus I’m kicin’ his ass

I love how “finding Jesus” goes from an abstraction about salvation to an actual threat (not that Jesus is scared, mind you).

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Ten Year Olds Are the Best Year Olds

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This morning I kept leaping into the living room as my 10 year olds were getting ready for school. I was wearing my floppy rain hat, humming the first few notes of the theme song for Indiana Jones, and making a whip noise with my mouth. Whoopersh! Whoopersh!

They loved it.

Too bad they can’t make it the entire way through Raiders of the Lost Ark. We get to the opening scene where Indy finds the corpse impaled on the spike booby trap and they turn to quivering jelly.

“Turn it off, turn it off. Oh, my! Oh, no!”

That’s okay. One day they will be all grown up and when I leap into the room and make whipping noises they will just sigh and roll their eyes.

Every American’s Right

Yesterday I was in my living room complaining about a letter I got from my health club. The kids were watching TV. I told my wife I was going to call the health club and complain. I must have been expressing myself too forcefully, because Aaron looked up and asked if it was legal to call up and complain.

“Son,” I told him, “as an American, it is your God given right to complain. Anytime you feel you are treated poorly, you should always complain.”

I hope I didn’t just create a monster.

Mother’s Day Dyn-O-rama

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For Mother’s day this year Kennedy and I made a dyn-O-rama. I am not even sure where I got that name, but that’s what we’ve been calling it.

Earlier in the week Kennedy told me she wanted to make Mom a little three dimensional scene like the nativity scene we put out at Christmas. Kennedy often makes off-beat suggestions like this and I have learned to go with the flow.

She suggested we work with wood. I suggested cardboard (sometimes you have to buck the flow). When Holly and Aaron went to the game Friday night, Kennedy and I got busy.

I let Kennedy pick out the materials at the craft store. When we got to my work, I asked her to draw some figures in action poses. She drew Holly reading a book and herself dunking a basketball. I created a picnic table for “Holly”  to sit on and a backboard for Kennedy’s avatar. We used the office color printer to print family photos from my flicr page and then cut and pasted the heads on our avatars.

We finished up late and then came home to ended the night watching Oklahoma on an old VCR tape. I told her how much fun I had with her and she agreed.

“I thought it was going to suck,” she said, without the slightest bit of malice.

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Aaron’s Web Gem: Unassisted Double Play

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Aaron is having a pretty good season.

Last week playing first base, he earned an unassisted double play. There was a boy on first and he was standing partway toward second. The batter hit a grounder to Aaron and he scooped it up and tagged (collided with really) the boy heading to second. After he made the tag, I watched his eyes get big and he raced over to first. At first, I didn’t get what was going on. Then I realized he was trying to for the double play.

He got to first base just a beat before the runner. I yelled so hard I embarrassed myself. His coach was so impressed he gave him two tickets to the Mariner’s game for Friday night.

Aaron took his mom.

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Yard Work is Hard Work

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I taught Aaron how to mow the lawn two weeks ago. He was excited. That was two weeks ago. This week his excitement seems somewhat diminished, but now I’m excited. It’s much easier to get the lawn done with his help. I’m paying him five bucks (a five dollar buck, as he calls it) for the front and the back (roughly 2000 square feet).

If you’re paying your child more, please just keep it to yourself. 

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Fort Project: The Grand Finale

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I put on the rail last week (between hail storms).

The fort project took just under a year to complete, but it’s finally done, and I’m happy with the results. The kids are pleased. Holly is pleased. Dad is exhausted!

Kidding. After all, I took a year to finish.

Here is a guided tour:

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Inside, looking toward the front porch, with escape hatch.

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Looking up the hatch.

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The main entrance.

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Looking down the rope ladder.

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The view from the hammock.

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The long climb.

All I can say is I must have wanted one of these when I was a kid. Otherwise, why would I have spent some much time and energy building it?

What a fun project!

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