Posts Tagged ‘narcotics’

Blame It on The Wire

March 12, 2008

After hearing a lot about it on NPR, I just started watching HBO’s, The Wire, on DVD. If you haven’t had the chance, each season focuses on one aspect of life in Baltimore. Season one focused on the West Baltimore drug trade. D’Angelo Barksdale, a fictional lieutenant and the nephew of Baltimore’s drug kingpin, was one of the key players.

Earlier this month I was selling Girl Scout cookies with Kennedy. My role as parent in charge of the sales site was much the same as D’Angelo Barksdale’s role selling crack in the Baltimore projects. I brought a lawn chair and settled discreetly into the background, watching out for theft or any untoward behavior. I also held the cookie money.

I wasn’t really paying attention and when I reached close to $100 in sales I got scared. Wanting to make sure our count was right, I made furious calculations. At one point, it seemed as if we were off by as much as $50! 

Probably a result of watching so much of The Wire, I felt certain one of those nice Safeway shoppers had hoodwinked my girls.

Turns out it’s just much harder to keep track of the money than I expected. As I remember, I was never any good at selling narcotics either.

Operation Christmas

December 26, 2007

junkyxmas.jpg 

I almost had an appendectomy for Christmas! Almost. Instead, I kept my appendix and got injected with a small amount of narcotics.

Starting last Wednesday, I got stomach cramps and low grade fever. I’ve been on a diet, so I thought that might have something to do with it. I hunkered down. Come Friday afternoon, I still felt lousy. I called the doctor at the health club and followed his advice. Didn’t feel any better.

Next day I went to see the on-call doctor at my doctor’s office. He felt pretty strongly it was appendicitis and sent me to the ER. The ER doc said it’s definitely appendicitis and asked me to sign some forms while he talked to the surgeon. The surgeon said he wanted me to get a CAT scan. The CAT scan said my appendix was fine.

So I ended up spending the whole day Saturday in the ER and then I got to go home with my appendix, some stomach cramps, and a small injection of dilaudid.

Not a bad haul.

RIP: Kurt Vonnegut (1922 – 2007)

April 12, 2007

Vonnegut

I haven’t read much Vonnegut, but there is one thing he wrote that has stayed with me for a very long time. It isn’t even from the primary text of one of his books, but from the forward to Slapstick:

This is the closest I will ever come to writing an autobiography. I have called it “Slapstick” because it is grotesque, situational poetry–like the slapstick film comedies, especially those of Laurel and Hardy, of long ago.

It is about what life feels like to me.

There are all these tests of my limited agility and intelligence. They go on and on.

The fundamental joke with Laurel and Hardy, it seems to me, was that they did their best with every test.

They never failed to bargain in good faith with their destinies, and were screamingly adorable and funny on that account.

I first read that in 1986.

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